Everyone innately seeks happiness and wellbeing. Yet, we might be misleading ourselves in our underlying calculations as to what can satisfy us as much as we expect. Jon Gertner, in his insightful article “The Futile Pursuit of Happiness,” sheds light on the recent findings, showing that, to a specific extent, we tend to undervalue the factors that can lead to our joy. In this instance, it was particularly illuminating to see that some of my existing beliefs about what happiness is essentially made out of were verified by the results of the research, and the others were contradicted.
My central tenet from an early stage is that possessing a fortune in excess of a reasonable amount does not help you become lifeless. Throughout her book, Gertner illustrates this, revealing that they came up with the finding that the rich “do not experience authentic societal goals or enduring commitments after crossing a minimum comfort level” (2024). As a result, my conviction and the results of the study resonate that only sometimes does this unhealthy tendency to aim for limitless prosperity come from confusion about the correlation, which demonstrates that riches and happiness are not related. Through this realization, I understood that harnessing one’s enthusiasm from hard work not only gives more satisfaction but also ultimate fulfillment.
The other idea that I felt connected with is that of savoring the current small pleasures instead of dreaming about the mythical good life one day in the future. Gertner’s explanation and analysis of “synthetic happiness,” where we get to be happy on purpose in our present circumstances instead of working to ultimately become happy whenever the conditions we set for ourselves are met, was very consistent with the same mindset I wanted for life. His review of Gilbert’s work goes as follows: “To the effect that we will have similar views of Le Cirque as well as to the periodontist, though we shall give more honors to the former than the latter.” At the same time, it is foreseeable that “we feel more at home in Montauk than Midtown elevator” (2024). To me, it has always been an aspiration to find contentment in each given moment without feeling like happiness should arrive someday in the future.
Nevertheless, quite a few of the findings of the studies changed my outlook on emotional prediction and subsequent happiness with a purpose. The fundamental understanding of the “impact bias” – our consistent anticipation of the utmost range of reactions to both positive and negative events – has become the most important of the concepts in the book. That was the first time I came to grips with the fact that a vast majority of the future events and opportunities we pursue often have a lasting emotional impact far beyond the initial joy or sorrow. The thought picture illustrated the dissipating joy of quick car or TV excitement in line with one’s expectations. That was an immersive deep dive into my real life, where I didn’t know more about happiness predictors.
This has a bearing on the fascinating finding of our innate “psychological immune systems,” which provide unprecedented resilience to challenging life situations beyond what is imagined. Though I, with my knowledge, realize human strengths and noble courage, I must confess here to also believing the flaws that a major disaster might paralyze all my life. Gertner’s conclusion that “undesirable events do not permanently pursue you and that you will eventually master the fear and to a greater extent cope with the level of anxiety you are experiencing” (2024) opened my eyes to the fact that I had actually been making assumptions, that is I thought any happiness would be immediately destroyed by grave misfortune, without realizing that my internal system was also designed to cope with
Another fundamental notion was the “empathy gap,” which represents the distinction between highly emotional and other, more rational states of consciousness, which refer to cold states. Rigidly confined as a university student, I literally and figuratively immersed myself into a totally new mental circuitry concerning the arenas of emotions, which were previously unknown with their actual physical manifestations in the form of complex neurochemical mechanisms such as rage, lust, or euphoria. Upon decoding these words, Gertner asserts that “these types of states can alter us to such an extent that when in different states, we are, in fact, more different from ourselves than we would be towards each other” (2024). This physical disconnect is so intense during bright emotions that one is not able to make rational decisions about the future, absolutely, maybe even about happiness.
Although these statements are distressing, they served a better purpose as they motivated me to anticipate happiness through participation in the seven-day prescribed Happiness Challenge activities by Dunn (2024). The gift of time to cultivate meaningful social networks paved the way for the sense of satisfaction that the findings of my examination demonstrated. The “eight-minute phone call” exercise, which let me reconnect with a close friend from the other side of the world, unexpectedly brought together an advantageous deep bond. This subsequently affirms some prior research results that “social interaction and friendships have the effect of giving lasting pleasure” (Gertner, 2024). Extensive time expansion dealing with innocent, high-quality conversation excavated a fueled treasure that only the blessed of good friendships enjoyed.
In addition to this, planning and “putting a social event on the calendar and not canceling it” (Dunn, 2024) provided significant benefits by allowing my friends and me to have some quality time for my birthday celebration. This moment was more than memorable and became living proof for the researchers that “spending resources on shared experiences instead of on material things would lead to the longer-lasting happiness of humans” (Gertner, 2024). I realized that my happiness was intrinsically related to my social life and relationships. Therefore, I reengaged in searching for happiness in my general society as the primary source of happiness.
The profoundly profound self-reflective value was complemented by my decision to express my appreciation through a letter rather than an electronic means of contact. Aside from saying thanks to my grandmother, who ceaselessly encourages and supports me, the prompts prompted me to have a more profound conviction about the life-enhancing positive sides that are often hidden in our daily hurdles. In accordance, Gertner (2024) commented on “the fact that being mindful and grateful for one’s own life rather than thinking of it as granted increases one’s emotional wellbeing.” This wake-up call tends to straighten things out.
To be practical enough, I should have an opportunity to implement the basic principles that I grew up with from the research and my personal experience. While maintaining realistic expectations by neither exaggerating minor failures nor considering any situation absolute bliss, I will take the initiative to sustain harmonious relationships and create an environment where both parties can grow and have positive experiences. The empathy gap framework shows me a path to greater self-awareness and keeping a check on my irritability/ rage when I am experiencing negative emotions. Most importantly, I want to carefully plan ways of fulfilling life’s most essential commitments without running into the troubles of emotional detachment that could be a consequence of pursuing money.
Downstream, even though I had some basic instinct on the list of factors for happiness when I dealt with the psychological nuances, it came to be a blend of encouraging and eye-opening discoveries in the arena of our blind spots. Such a defense reveals where forecasting efforts are going wrong and how more beneficial strategies can be reimagined. Given that no assured satisfaction might await us at the end of the gained maturity, we should have the competence to improve our goals, correctly adjust the expectations set for us, and have a sensible journey. Persisting happiness is reached by actively confronting the deceptions and disconnections that usually cause the most sinful efforts to fail.
Dunn, J. (2024, January 1). The 7-Day Happiness Challenge (Published 2023). The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/explain/2023/01/01/well/happiness-challenge
Gertner, J. (2024). The Futile Pursuit of Happiness (Published 2003). The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/07/magazine/the-futile-pursuit-of-happiness.html