Dearest Reynold,
This letter expresses feelings at the bottom of my heart, where sorrow and memories interweave, and memories and emotions go wild and free. It has been quite some time since I thought about writing this letter to you, although I am mostly just staring at you and crying like a shadow following me everywhere.
The world seemed as if it came to a standstill when you came to leave us. It was like a day of mourning. The doubtful, strange feeling I have kept in my heart still stands before my mind, like a photograph of the past. We never had the chance to take one last look, to say all the words we never spoke to you, or to hug you one last time. All of us were shattered when you unexpectedly left us, with no way to express that strongly felt emotion.
You brought life and laughter into our house and were the lighthouse that kept us safe and guided us. No matter how long it will take, keep the approach from replacing what you will be leaving behind. I am the warmth of your touch and the voice of what I most miss, but sadly, you no longer exist. It is like your memories never came and are always there, like distant stars from the night.
Our futures were interconnected and burst with bright hope; even the plans we had built together disappeared with your unexpected death. I can still feel the joy in your eyes as my friends and I discussed our hopes and ways of flying into the dream of the sky. It was our dream to appreciate your deeds and share the happiness of your success with you, but fate had different plans. My Bahamas trip, your homely speech, and the thought of seeing you fly will be the pass-on memories of a future that will never be realized.
Nevertheless, as bitter as the pain is and as much as I miss him, the memories we shared and the time we spent together are my comfort zone. The peace of knowing that something of me will forever live in the hearts of those who came to love me is priceless. Even though your steady step is gone and your presence is no longer visible, you are still there in every sun ray and tender wind touching the leaves. Rest well. Auntie Jackie.
When I think about my own story of loss, it becomes apparent how much having this experience has affected me and the opportunities it has given me to empathize with the range of complex feelings that it can bring along. For “Death, Society, and Human Experience,” Kastenbaum dives into things like society, culture, and the psychological effects of death by analyzing its facets. Consequently, in Chapter 2, the scientific meaning of death is described, and the role of advances in medicine that interfere with mortality is discussed (Cable, 1998).
Despite this being an acquisition that has come about gradually, a sense of understanding the concept of biology regarding death has given birth to a final and terminal feeling. In the course of the lecture, Kastenbaum makes a few noticeable implications concerning death and the discoveries in medical technology. However, this discussion models a holistic understanding of death due to emerging technologies (Cable, 1998). “Brain death,” one of the fundamental conceptions, puts vital parameters such as neurological functions in focus and highlights that the brain is the most important organ when it comes to managing bodily processes.
For me, deciphering the biological elements of death helped me understand the whole situation of my relatives being lost and the unexpected death of a loved one. It symbolized the end for me to know that the indicator of their brain’s failure from which they could not recover was the end of their physical body (Cable, 1998). Hence, it showed that the departure of my loved ones was impossible to stop. Moreover, Kastenbaum examines the problems of euthanasia in social philosophy and the notion of a “good death.” In a society that may prolong life indefinitely through medical support, questions about the quality of life for a dying person emerge. In particular, encountering such issues has made me realize that the terms on which the last days of life are conducted should be consistent with the wishes of the dying person and accompanied by compassionate end-of-life care.
While reflecting upon my passage through the death experience, I have had to imbibe the fact that it is essential to give the dying person control of the situation and to give the patient some dignity. It has made me trust friends and family members with the final decisions, so my preferred choices will be honoured when the dividing moment arrives (Cable, 1998). Kastenbaum addresses death’s cultural and social aspects by looking at the specific ways in which various cultures and religions perceive and worship death. Such cultural perspectives offer an implicit and explicit understanding of what makes different cultures’ ritual management of grief and grieving unique.
I rely on my cultural background when I know the rich environment of death-related customs and rituals I can touch. The act of praying is a crucial part of my culture’s funeral rituals, which I employ to show reverence to the deceased and seek the comfort of God. Moreover, like other customs, gathering the bereaved loved ones with the deceased is another priceless virtue that facilitates the making of a connection for support and community in the grief setting (Cable, 1998). With these traditions, we can reinforce links with our roots and ancestors, who have been gone but not forgotten. Besides, they represent an excellent opportunity to honour and remember our departed loved ones, maintaining their presence through our heartfelt reminiscences, tears, and laughter. When I realize that I am not alone in my mourning and that the bonds of love cannot be defeated by death, I find peace of mind and healing in the acceptance of imperative cultural practices.
Finally, I have gained a perception of death and its scope on human life if I consider my loss experience in comparison to those of Kastenbaum. I get to explore the three faces of death, namely the scientific, ethical, and cultural aspects, and I feel like I can attain closure and acceptance for myself now. Through this, however, I have learned how to go through the stages of loss with balance and the inner strength I need. There is a possibility that one may never completely overcome the agony of losing a beloved one; nevertheless, I find solace and comfort in the knowledge that their memory will forever reside in our hearts and that they will continue to be the guide to the luminaries of eternity.
Cable, D. G. (1998). Death, Society, and Human Experience, by Robert J. Kastenbaum. OMEGA-DETROIT THEN NEW YORK-, 36, 274-274.