Finding friends always seems like good luck more than everything else. And it is partially true – you sometimes need a dash of luck to get to the right place at the right time to meet the right people. However, the majority of us forget that there is more to this. For example, putting effort into creating bonds with people, learning how to be open and friendly, adapt to changes and transformations around and inside of you. These things are no less important than simply waiting for the perfect friend match for you and true friendship bonds. This blog post will help you navigate the challenges of college friendships and will surely help you find your tribe.
Understanding the Dynamics
The first thing you should understand about college is that it is a complex and even tough time for a lot of us. It is a time of transformation, learning, overcoming, and living under stress and pressure. What does that mean in terms of friendship? It might mean that the bonds that occur might break with no fault of any of you. Or that sometimes it might be hard to see the person as they are due to the challenges they are going through. It also might mean a lack of time to nurture friendships at all. And all of this should be kept in mind.
College also often makes you fall into superficial friendships that are based on whole wrong things – convenience, for example. What you should remember is that your roommate does not always have to be your friend, just like people from your class or study groups. Analyze the communication that you have – surface-level interactions are typical for acquaintances rather than true friends.
Search for people with the same interests, values, and views as yours. A deeper level of connection can be reached only with time, so, of course, your relationship might go through a few stages. However, development and positive dynamics are key.
Being Authentic
As it was said earlier, it’s better to have a friend who shares your interests and views. This is impossible if you don’t get a chance or don’t want to share your personal beliefs or hobbies – and this is the main problem that many young adults face. You need to be authentic to find true friendship. Don’t try to be someone else or act to please people around you. Being able to express your point and have a word in conversations when it comes to interests or, for example, a group decision is crucial.
If are among people who love partying and pretend to like it as well, you will not find a true friend. It will be all lies and fake talks until you find people who are close to what you really enjoy. Otherwise, you will be doomed to pretend.
Finding Balance
During college years, you might feel overwhelmed with the number of tasks and spheres of life that you need to juggle. Socializing, working, studying, resting, finding time for hobbies, family, and resetting – all of these things might feel like too much to be taken care of.
It’s important to find the right balance between the most important spheres of your life. Work-life balance is often referred to as a key to success in your career and academic life. But what is also important is that it is the key to your friendship too. What it means is that you should not solely focus on the “finding friends” task or “maintaining friendship” task. This issue often happens to people who are anxious about losing potential friends or are not socially active enough.
After high school, with lots of constant interactions, college friendships might feel less dynamic and vibrant. Less hanging together, less talks; it’s all alright if you know the secret – the quality matters more when it comes to true friendship. Spending eight hours together is not always as deep as having a deep conversation for half an hour.
In other words, avoid extremes – don’t put yourself or your studies aside in order to make more time to hang out with potential friends. Also, don’t lock yourself in your dorm room with books – find a balance and a perfect ratio in your daily schedule. Prioritize self-care and listen to yourself; the rest will naturally come.
Making an Effort
Another important factor is making an effort. Being proactive is important as sitting in your room wouldn’t help you make friends, right? So, going out, attending events, and being open to new acquaintances are crucial elements of the process of making friends in college or any other place.
What’s even more valuable is making an effort internally – to smile more, participate in conversations, and learn how to be friendly. Many people need to remember and work on these extra things because it can drastically change the situation, even if it implies forcing yourself a little. And it means truly making an effort and getting true friendship.
Being Open-Minded
We do not always share each and every one of our views with our friends; sometimes, there might be differences in opinions or lifestyles. This is perfectly normal, but one must be ready to hear and deal with these differences.
Being open-minded is one of the great ways to learn in life. When you can embrace diversity and avoid being judgmental towards others, you can significantly improve the quality of your social life. It will also help you achieve your goal – finding friends. Sometimes, all you need is to put your biases aside and be ready for something new in your life.
Prioritizing Quality
As it was said earlier, surface-level communication can be pleasant and interesting, but it doesn’t make you friends with these people. When setting a goal towards true friendship in your life, make sure you prioritize the quality of these connections rather than their quality.
Some people opt for as many friends as possible. But oftentimes, it’s better to have fewer friends with stronger bonds. True friendship is not about numbers but about mutual respect, support, understanding, and sharing. That’s why prioritizing quality is important.
Final Thoughts
College is a time of transformation and many challenges. It’s surely easier and better to go through these times surrounded and supported by friends. The ones whom you can share your thoughts and issues with, get a helping hand, and spend quality time together. We hope that these tips above will help you find true friendship in college.